Purpose is Everything

My name is Danielle, and I am a senior with a major in the Communication Arts program here at Wilmington College, due to graduate this December. I am a successful first-generation college student, and I wanted to share the short story of my road to this campus before I graduated this year. I hail from California and am older than my peers, also; I am a single parent of almost-college-age kids.

My path here to this college has not been an easy one, but one filled with numerous hurdles, heartbreak, tears, laughter, rewards, and pride.

Way back in 1997, I can remember my freshman year of high school being filled with great possibilities for me and a desire for purpose in the world. 14-year-old me had high hopes of becoming an art student at the Academy of Art College in San Francisco, California.

Unfortunately, life sometimes does not give you the best of cards. My family’s criminal and drug-related activities in 1997 and beyond destroyed my world. I was also kept out of school for over a year, so this derailed my high school career entirely. I had plans to join the United States Air Force once I turned 18 in the fall of 2000 to get away from the family chaos, to make something of myself, and to explore the world. This did not occur, and I instead stayed to help raise my youngest sibling—stepping in to do the job my biological father should have been doing. After years of working and never obtaining my high school diploma, I decided I needed to try and finalize high school somehow, so I paid for and scheduled my G.E.D. test.

Unfortunately, my family kicked me out of their home the week before my scheduled test, and because I could not change the location, date, and time, I slept on a friend’s couch until I could take the test. While I retook the math test at a later date once I moved, I passed everything and received my G.E.D. in January 2005.

By the time I was 24 in 2006, I had met a man who would later become my husband and the father of my two children. We sought to escape our families and the messiness of our lives in one another and, sadly, the relationship was very toxic and abusive. So, in 2011, I left with my kids, ages one and three, and we flew from Ohio to California with what we could carry and pack into luggage. They were absolutely the best part of that trek back to California. I divorced and got full legal and physical custody of them, and he has not seen them or been involved in their lives since. While in California, I struggled to make a consistent life for us. I could not financially sustain a roof over our heads alone and without roommates. I also could not establish work, school, and childcare simultaneously.

Eventually, I made my way back to Ohio in 2013, and I slept on a padded mat on the floor with them in a cramped two-bedroom apartment in Columbus with other family members until 2015. In an emergency situation, I made my way here to Wilmington and stayed with some friends until I could get into an apartment of my own. Initially, I had planned to move to Wisconsin with a family friend out of desperation, but one of my Wilmington friends asked me the question, “Why not stay here and plant some roots?”. I thought about this question and realized it was time for me to stand on my own and become the independent person I had always wanted to be.

Why not, in fact, plant some roots?

Since then, I have made Wilmington my and my children’s home.

I started in Wilmington as a hotel housekeeper, and I attempted to enroll in a local social services STNA program. They rejected me because I could not pass their math test. In early 2016, I transitioned to daycare work for Wilmington College Alumni Hope Belle. Hope gave me the opportunity to get my Child Development Certification through the University of Cincinnati online in 2017, and I excelled and passed this course easily. While I found working with children rewarding, I eventually transitioned to another rewarding job working with adults with disabilities in 2017.

In 2019, I decided it was time for me to pursue my first two-year degree with Southern State Community College, completely unaware that a pandemic was right around the corner. I am not sure how I made it through most of that first year. I dealt with being a single parent terrified of the pandemic, lots of personal health issues, an adult ADHD diagnosis, intense therapy for trauma, homeschooling my two children for half their school year, transitioning back to working at the daycare center with reduced hours, and a full course load of college work. However, I managed, and in August 2022, I graduated from S.S.C.C. magna cum laude with my associate’s degree and as a member of the Phi Theta Kappa honor society. After this, I took a year off from school to focus on my mental wellness and prepare for another two years of my bachelor’s degree. In that time, I met with Steve Cukovecki and booked a tour of the beautiful Wilmington College campus. When I tell you that Steve was one of the biggest reasons I came to Wilmington College, I truly mean it. He made me feel so welcome, and he was so patient with me any time I flooded him with questions. While Steve wanted me to become a student before I was ready to commit, he understood my stance on needing a break and he would check in with me, which made me feel so seen and never made me feel like I was not just a number here at the college.

In 2023, I was ready to go and committed to beginning my studies on campus that fall. Since I have been here at Wilmington College, I have mostly related mentally to the staff members because they are closer to my age range, and I have horrible social anxiety. I also know most young adults do not want to connect with someone who is their parents’ age. Two faculty members currently on staff have always made me feel welcome and have always championed my success, and they are Bekah Muchmore Wall and Jeff Hazelden. I have learned so much from them both and am eternally grateful for the knowledge they have passed on to me and the student/educator relationships we have created. I have excelled here on campus, and my 4.0 GPA earned me an induction into both the National Society of Leadership and Success and the Green Key Honor Society.

School and a thirst for knowledge have always been such a large part of my life, but especially since U.C. online in 2017 and onward.

I have fought so incredibly hard to get here to Wilmington College for my bachelor’s degree that I almost disbelieve that the ride is almost over. I dreamt the other night that I had finished everything in December, and I thought, “What now?”.

As December draws near, we shall see. I know that even though I feel like I have accomplished so much, one of my greatest achievements in life has been my children. Anybody who knows me knows how I feel about them both. Without them, I am not sure I would have worked so hard to become the person I am. Years of therapy, early childhood education, and three higher learning institutions have been beneficial for me, for them, and for any future generation stemming from us. I left so much of my past behind so that I could give my children a fighting chance of a better life. My oldest child finished and passed two college courses this summer at S.S.C.C. with A’s and has entered their senior year of high school. They plan to take two more spring college courses in 2026 and then wish to begin at Wilmington College in fall 2026.

At seventeen, my parents would never have allowed me to accomplish such things. In light of this information, and with my children's future pursuits in mind, hope has undeniably taken hold.

We are the ones who will stop the cycle of familial abuse, criminal activity, and domestic violence. While purpose can’t wait, but for some—it must.

That does not mean that purpose must wait forever. Sometimes it just takes tenacity and time to find the right path.

I have discovered my purpose here in Wilmington, and I am extremely grateful for the journey that brought me here.